Monday, November 30, 2009
Stop the Holiday Manner Mishaps!
Sooner or later, most parents experience them. Those ever-embarrassing moments that surface when your child exhibits holiday manner faux pas. Aunt Jenny brings out her grandmother's famous spinach souffle and your five year old says, "Ugh, I'm not eating that, it smells disgusting!" Or your eight year old opens Uncle Jared's gift and says, "I wanted Elmo!" and begins to cry.
You really don't have to feel like you just won the Poor Parent of the Year award. Here are some tips to help avoid holiday manner mishaps - long before the holidays arrive.
1. Show your child how to be grateful and to appreciate a gift - whenever it is received. Teach specific responses to gifts when he does not receive what he expected. "You know, Uncle Jared may give you a gift you don't like, but remember to say thank you, and give him a hug." Teaching specific skills gives your child the confidence to handle difficult situations. It is also a good time to teach your child about the thought behind the gift so he understands the concept that preparation and consideration went into selecting and purchasing a gift for him.
2. A great trouble shooter for families and close friends is to offer children's "wish-list" gift lists. It is up to parents to make appropriate price range boundaries for gifts and to promise each other to stay within that range. This will avoid one child (only) receiving an obviously over-the-top expensive present.
3. Many times holiday meals involve a new recipe to try. Encourage your child to try something new and put a small amount on his plate. If he takes one bite and does not like it, he does not have to eat more. If the dish does not appeal to him at all, even to taste, remind him to simply say, "No, thank you.."
4. When there is an inconsiderate verbal slip up, quietly remove your child from the situation and using a calm voice, explain that "Your comments were very hurtful to Uncle Jared. It is never OK to hurt someone's feelings." Make sure he makes a sincere apology to Uncle Jared.
5. Be aware of the messages you are sending with your body language and/or verbal comments. Children pick up cues quicker than you realize you sent them. Has your child heard you snicker (under your breath) that your least favorite Aunt Brenda is coming to holiday dinner? Your child is listening to everything you say, especially the things you don't want him to hear and, as a result, may cause your child to act out.
6. Involve your child in the spirit of the holiday. By including him as an integral participant, he will take on more responsibility and buy into becoming personally accountable for the holiday outcome.
One final note: You do have to send a real thank you note. E -mail is not an acceptable way thank someone for a gift you received or for a lovely holiday dinner.
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Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Make A Difference
This summer we insisted our teenage daughter do something worthy for the community. Rather than lounge all day at the community pool, or spend the day on the computer, we helped her answer a newspaper ad that ran in our local paper. Leah decided to volunteer at the riding stable where they helped physically disabled children learn to ride horses...
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Friday, August 07, 2009
Embrace Change for the Future
Turn on any television set and watch the President speak and you are certain to hear the buzzword of the day. Change. The political dimension is absorbed with phrases that embrace the word “change”. Change to help our economic crisis, change to end the war in Iraq, change to help secure our borders. Americans are overwhelmed and have...
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